i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
