Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
