i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
