My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's just like the Real World with babies
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
