when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
