Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
