but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
