epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
