11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
