I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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