Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
