I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
