so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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