Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
