She is in my trunk
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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