i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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