chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
