He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
