is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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