Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
