That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
