my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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