I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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