i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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