he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
