goodnight i made you a song goodbye
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
