i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
