People in love make me want to vomit
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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