man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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