So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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