that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Barsexuality is the new black.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
