fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
