Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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