i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
