I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
FUCK WHALES
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
