Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
