can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
