I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
