escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
