forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
