she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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