My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize