she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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