as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
