Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize