Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
