Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
