Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
