it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
