I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
did i walk over a car last night?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Enjoy the penises
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
