end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
