I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
