Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
