pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
