I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she looked like the before picture.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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