Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
