Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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