I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
