and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
