Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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