its not stalking. its research.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
