What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
