I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
