Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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