Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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